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April 14, 2015
I walked through fire.
Hypothetically, but a fire non the less. One that consumed my life. I am now standing at the other end, looking…staring at this fire and I still cannot believe that after a long, HARD year I survived.
I’ve documented this journey. The one that has brought me to this place. On November 7th 2014 after multiple surgeries and procedures and healing only to be cut open again, my husband and I made the painfully obvious decision to undergo a bi-lateral mastectomy for my IGM (a Breast Cancer Mimic). I must admit I was tired at this point of all the pain, of not feeling normal or sane, of not being able to so much as hold my newborn daughter. My baby was 6 months old when I had the surgery. I must admit the surgery itself knocked the life out of me. I was not prepared. The hurt seemed insurmountable, I remember the cards, the friends that came to my side, the prayers and just the full limitless support of my family. That is what got me through what was without a doubt the darkest moments in my life.
I took about a month off of work out of sheer necessity. I was so uncomfortable and scared that I barely left the house except to see the doctors. I tried to work, to be positive for my family but looking back I’m not sure how I did it, at ALL. There is no support group for people with my condition and because it’s so rare it was hard to find anyone to relate too, share with, or someone to tell me this was going to be okay.
While waiting to do the reconstruction, with expanders in my chest I got an infection that landed me back in the hospital for another week. It added to the time I would have to keep the expanders in, and prolonged this very painful part of reconstruction. Finally, on March 6th I was able to undergo the surgery to have my implants put in. I have to share that because of the infection, there was no guarantee that implants would be possible. I came to grips with that and decided that after all I had been through, if I woke up from the surgery without them, that was how I would remain. My doctors told me I could try again in 8 months if it didn’t work, but I couldn’t bring myself to endure the surgeries again. When I woke up with the implants I could not have been happier and the pain paled in comparison to the surgery I had in November.
I’m sharing this story because though my reconstruction is not complete, I am through the hardest part. I can finally look back at it and see that I survived this horrible thing that happened to me and that my faith, family and my husband is who I have to thank. I couldn’t imagine going through this alone.
If you know anyone affected in such a way by a Cancer or disease that leads to a mastectomy, be a friend, because sometimes that’s all a person needs! I am so thankful to everyone that was there for me. I had no idea the fire I was about to walk through when I was diagnosed with I.G.M.(idiopathic granulomatous mastitis). So I have to say it again supporting someone who has gone through this or anything similar is so important.
For that reason I am leaving my personal phone number and email address below for anyone who knows someone who is going through this or you yourself has been diagnosed with IGM. There are not a lot of us out there so we have to stick together and support each other.
I’ll leave you with a quote a dear friend of mine gave me after my surgery: ” you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”
I survived! Be well
-J
Phone: 954.804.0551
Email: justine@ajoliedesign.com
14 Comments
You are indeed a strong woman, mother, wife & friend. I am so happy you got out of this okay and that you continue with your faith.. Because only thru God is how we can get thru anything. Always in my prayers friend. Keep strong!
Thank you Linda!!!! You are right, everything is possible through GOD!
I got goosebumps reading this! I am still in awe of the strength, patience and positivity you’ve displayed throughout this chapter of your life. You are an inspiration and I’m privileged to call you friend.
Thank you my Balloon totting always there no matter what friend 😉
Yup! You are totally awesome! It’s such a blessing when God allows you to deal with the unthinkable in such an admirable way! Hats off to you Soror! You are an beautiful inspiration!!
Thank you Soror!
When you first wrote your story, I want you to know I prayed for you and Amed. I will not say I understand what you are going through but I will say you inspire me Justine. I’m a new mom and complain but to see you work so hard, mother your girls and be a dedicated wife inspires me. I will share your story with my best friend in nyc that had to have her mastectomy at 27, she’s scared to start a family and now I have a role model for her. You definitely make me proud, may God continue to Bless you. My sister in faith
Stay strong my love !
Dionne
Thank you Dionne! I appreciate all your comments, the only reason I shared this story was to hopefully help someone else. We all do our best as hard working women, mothers and wife’s, God Bless You! Your son is adorable!….Also, come join the Black Alumni Society at FAU 😉
Justine thank you for sharing your testimony. Praying for you totally healing.
Thank you Aja!
Such a touching testimony of triumphant and faith. You are applauded for being brave enough to share in this fashion. Continued prayers for you and your family and I know that your journey will inspire someone who may be experiencing the same thing. Pretty Girls Really Do Rock!……..Xoxo
Thank you Soror!
Thank you for putting this out there for everyone to see. I was diagnosed with IGM a few days before my Wedding in Sept. Since then i have had numerous surgeries and meds all with their own lovely set of side effects to no avail.
I go see a surgeon at John Hopkins tomorrow. I am going to push for the mastectomy, but i doubt i will opt for reconstruction. i think my best option for peace of mind will be to look down and see nothing there. This disease is awful. I have never been so challenged in my own mental health as i have been during this process.
It is so difficult having something so rare, that is not well understood.
Would you mind providing the name of your doctor? If Hopkins does not go as planned, i would like to have a plan B to fall back on.
Thank you, again
Hello Tiffany,
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this, it was without a doubt the hardest time in my life! I only put this out there because there was no one that I could talk to/relate to about IGM and though it was hard for me to tell this story I wanted to be able to help someone else. Please feel free to email me and I will help in anyway I can as well as send you the Doctors information! justine@ajoliedesign.com.
Best,
Justine