Mommy is F@!K a bad word?

SO….I’m a mom (clearly), a hands on mom. I have found a happy place in parenting between how I was raised, books I have read  and the countless opinions of my peers. Through that happy medium since my daughter was born, I have always talked to her straight. By that I mean, I have done very little “baby talk,” not that anything is wrong with baby talk…Its just not my thing. I pride myself on my daughters ability to communicate, I don’t talk to her as if she is an adult but when she does something wrong, we talk things through together  because I believe that works better for my house hold then other techniques. With that being said we said in this recent year our communication is on hyper/over/OMG/WAIT/HUH/WHAT IN THE WORLD mode.

EVERYTHING is a conversation or a question and sometimes my explanation simply isn’t good enough and I am attacked with a million “but why momma.” I enjoy the questions at times but it also throws me off a little off when I think I am driving a certain point home and I am met with the look or question that proves to me…my daughter is too smart for her own good (pats myself on the back, while shaking my head). So the subject of this particular blog…

As parents we are faced with the words that we don’t want our children to use/say. I am not a fan of the word lie so we use untruth….I think that gives you a pretty good understanding of where I am in the bad word world. Among many words stupid, damn, idiot, hell and lie are our top 5 for our three year old. The “bigger” bad words like sh*t, she really doesn’t even know exist so we have not even discussed those as of yet. Clearly its time to discuss…

I unfortunately was recently in a car accident, thankfully, my daughter was not in the car. Since the accident I have been pretty much confined to my bed and on some major pain medication. My husband and a band of loyal and loving family and friends have been hands on in taking care of my daughter and making sure her life doesn’t really skip a beat while I am not well. Yesterday was Saturday so I tried a little harder on her day off to actually play with her a little while her cousins were visiting.

I could hear her playing in her room with the other kids and one said stupid, she immediately told them “that’s a bad word.” her cousins are a little older so they laughed it off and did not say the word again. I little while later she came into my room and whispered a question in my ear….” Mommy f@!k isn’t a bad word right?” HUH I sat up (still heavily medicated) I tried to get as close to her as I could so that I could make sure I heard her correctly. I asked if she could repeat herself, trying not to sound too stern because I didn’t want to scare her (she is very sensitive when she thinks she’s done/said something wrong) “Is what not a bad word honey?”….F@!K, F@!K isn’t a bad word right?

Soooooo how do I address this. One time before this word had come up during a trip to visit family in New Jersey and I lost it. I was so upset that after trying to protect her, she had learned one of the worst words for her to repeat, I wanted to handle this better. I got out of bed and we sat down together in the hallway between our rooms, I explained that it was a bad word, the best way I could. I kept my composure and I am almost 100% sure that I got through to her better then before. I’m proud of myself but also mad at the world around me…the world around her. I know that I cannot keep people from saying bad words around her, or protect her from the things she is exposed to when she is not with me but that doesn’t make me any more comfortable with my daughters innocent three year old ears being exposed to such a word in the 4 short days I have not been able to fully be in mommy mode. I’m positively sure there are plenty bad words, uncomfortable moments and awkward conversations to come, I feel like this one has prepared me. It has prepared me because before that moment, I didn’t realize that my baby is no longer a baby…she is a toddler…a toddler that has said F@!K.

Motherhood/Parenting is such journey, I feel that I mature/grow/fall apart and put myself back together daily. The ride is one no one could have ever prepared me for and I am thankful for every moment! Until the next toddler tale…Have a Blessed Sunday!