Mommy Down

Life knocks Us Down.

My Great Aunt passed away. Growing up she was the love of my life. I spent countless weekends hiding away at her house (where I was an only child and not one of 5 kids). We took trips to parks, shopping centers and ice cream parlors. In the 80’s toys at fast food restaurants where a BIG thing and I remember her driving me around to countless Burger Kings to retrieve EVERY character from the Land Before Time movie because I had to have them and you couldn’t get them in stores.  Even though Saturdays at her house were all about the fun, I had to watch Reading Rainbow and write my lessons down before I could play or eat my favorite treats. She was truly God sent.

As an adult our roles reversed some, BUT she always talked to me like a second mom and only wanted what was best for me. She at some point stopped driving so I would pick her up for our dates and she even came and spent some time with me in my Florida home.

I realized with time that she would not live forever, and I tried to hold on to every moment we had, but after becoming a mother myself my priorities shifted and it is possible that she got a little lost in all of that. She loved my daughter though and my daughter loved her. I wanted her to live forever so that my daughter could experience the unmatchable love of Aunt Lee. As a child Aunt Lee brought me my only American Girl Doll Addy and on my daughters first birthday Aunt Lee brought Aidan her first American Girl Baby,even though it seems like a little thing…it allows her to live on in my daughter’s life. Aidan now has both dolls and all of the accessories I received as gifts over my childhood birthdays and Christmases. Even at three years old Aidan understands how much these things mean to me and takes great care of them.

My Great Aunt Passed Away. I went to visit her a month before she passed, I spent 4 days with her and they were (what I thought then) the saddest days of my life. She was not herself, she didn’t know me but the entire time I was there she talked about her “daughter” Justine and how much she loved her. I embraced those moments, cried through them, brushed her hair, lay with her and held her hand. I’m now so very thankful for those 4 days.

When she passed I thought I was prepared. But we are never prepared to loss a loved one EVER. I wanted to be strong for my daughter. I didn’t want her to see me in such disarray. But sorrow is not something that can be controlled. I left her here in Florida to attend my Aunts funeral; very few people understood my logic. But I did not want to expose her to death so young, I wanted her to remember Aunt Lee as she was and I needed time to not be a mom  for a few days.

I feel like I reverted back to a child, I wanted her to tell me what to do and how to act. My hard exterior was completely torn away and I had to rely on my memories of her to get me through in a way that she would want me too. She had the most beautiful service, she was surrounded by love and I knew leaving that she would have been tickled by the things her loved ones said and did to make her service for her.

She believed in me and in my business whole heartedly, she supported everything I have done to this point and she will forever live in my heart. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, maybe to inspire someone to HUG,SPEND TIME, CALL your loved ones. God says we know not the time or the hour,
cherish those around you. Teach your children about their families, LOVE ON  those who mean anything to you. Family is Everything!

Aunt Lee Green

October 22, 1916- March 28,
2013